1000 Ways To Die is the best show in existence.

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Now I know to file my carrots down before masturbating.

(Y)

ummmmmmm does this apply for my butt :\?

It applies for any orifice you so please to stick a carrot in.

fuck….really? whatever i’ll brb i got carrots to file, dammit this is gonna set me back like idk ten minutes at least

Or you could just buy the baby carrots that are already perfectly rounded.

LOL those aren’t big enough silly and i already bought two dozen they’re in the fridge

You could just get some rubber bands and make one giant dickcarrot out of the liddo baby carrots?

nono i’m rubberbanding the 2 dozen filed carrots and putting them in my butt, baby carrots are for wussies

Oh my.

Your asshole’s gonna be big enough for midgets to lurk in o.-

cavernous basically.

I’m going to raise my family in there.

get out the bats please? they keep going past the designated area i said they could stay and i’ve just had it

Why don’t you just kill them with your carrots?

wish it were that simple ~~siggggh

You could always try a broomstick handle.

I’M NOT MADE OF STEEL WOMAN!!!!?!

Or am I a man?

 regardless i am not steel :P mmm i did always get the burely manly man feel from you *ponders*